


Birthday Presents

by cirquedusorrel



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: 5 + 1, Fluff, Kink Meme, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-21
Updated: 2012-12-21
Packaged: 2017-11-21 21:46:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/602399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cirquedusorrel/pseuds/cirquedusorrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint has never really had anyone to buy presents for before. Now, with the Avengers, he does. And he wants to, but he isn't exactly great at it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Birthday Presents

1\. March 1st

Him and Natasha never give each other gifts. Well, not the kind that makes sense to other people.

With her, it’s always the thought that counts. So March 1st, he gets up unbelievably early, even for a SHIELD agent, and meets Tasha in kitchen. Tasha doesn’t know her birthday and probably wouldn’t celebrate it even if she did. Instead they celebrate Peanut Butter Lovers’ Day.

Its 18 hours of making every single peanut butter product they can find or create a recipe for.

It only ends when Tasha has eaten her weight twice over in peanut butter pastries.

This year they manage to stock an entire fridge with the leftovers.

Tasha always hugs him right at the end when she’s delirious from the amount of peanut butter she’s ingested.

The thing is, Clint really doesn’t like peanut butter. But he spends the rest of the year looking for increasingly arcane peanut butter recipes just for this one day.

 

2\. May 31st

It’s on Bruce’s birthday that he finds out that none of the Avengers can cook real food.

Tony’s mechanical expertise does not cover using machines to prepare food. Thor just smiles at him like he’s insane. Tasha only knows how to cook things involving peanut butter.

Bruce’s cooking is only edible to those with superhuman stomachs.

The small worn box filled with spices obtained from an open-air market in Calcutta (that he _hadn’t_ wrapped in the Hulk-green wrapping paper Tony had commissioned) is pushed to the side during Bruce’s party.

It’s a little discouraging because Clint had been proud of finding such a special gift (so what that he’d read Banner’s files to do it) but its Banner’s birthday. He shakes off the disappointment quickly enough to loudly question Tony’s taste and elicit a laugh from Banner.

At the end, as they disperse from the kitchen, Bruce pulls him aside and says thank you.

 

3\. December 5th

“What does one make with it?”

 “You can’t actually use that one to ma-. It’s a traditional Viking pivot. Like the kind that you use in horse bridles. Just, more ornamental.”

“This is nice. We have nothing of this kind in Asgard.” Thor holds it up to his ear.

Clint focuses on the fact that Thor is smiling. At least he made him smile.

But then Thor continues, “So explain to me about this day of birth. It is a celebration?”

It would just mean more if Thor wasn’t always smiling.

 

4\. December 25th

It’s not very big, but he’s already gotten Coulson a much larger and grander birthday present. Coulson always emails both him and Tasha his birthday present requests with attached market research and price comparisons around Thanksgiving. Clint had wanted to get Coulson a couples’ gift for Christmas. He’d found a cello Christmas ornament.

“Thanks.” Coulson looks grim, like when Fury has just mentioned paperwork mishaps to him.

“But?”

“I broke up with her last week.”

“You broke up with her a week before Christmas?”

“I appreciate the thought Clint. You’re the only one who gets me both a Christmas present and a birthday present.”

“It reminds you of your ex-girlfriend.”

“It reminds me of how thoughtful my friends are.”

Clint sighs. He’s starting to get frustrated with everyone. It shouldn’t be so difficult to buy presents.

 

5\.  February 18th

“Tony, I’ve been asking you for the past month what you wanted and I’m asking you one last time. Your birthday is tomorrow, what would you like for your birthday?”

Maybe it’s unfair to corner Tony in his lab while he is working , but Clint is frustrated. He’d had time to plan for everyone else’s presents and still managed to fail.

And never mind that Tony is a billionaire and a genius. Clint does not appreciate having to resort to his spy skills to figure out a birthday present for his _boyfriend_.

Tony absentmindedly smiles at him while reaching around Clint for a tool. It takes Tony almost a minute to respond to the question, his mind probably to caught up in equations to compute what Clint had asked. “A new propulsion system for my tank missiles.…If I could reduce the weight I could adapt one for one of your arrows.”

Clint just steals Tony’s StarkPad before heading out. Just because he loves the man doesn’t mean he has to be mature about it.

****

He ends up spending all day lazing about with Tony in bed. Not necessarily having sex, but just relaxing in bed together—like a normal couple.  He also humors each and every one of Tony’s tangents.

It makes them both happy but Clint would do this normally if either of them had the time. It’s not a _present._

 

 

+1 June 21st

Tony swore to him this was what she would want. And maybe he doesn’t need to get Ms. Pott’s a present, but she’s Tony’s closest thing to family (real family).

He’s not above bribing her for her approval.

He finds Pepper waiting in the living room, while Tasha is getting dressed for dinner.

Clint intends to start off with hello or even a happy birthday but he’s far too nervous and so instead he mutters, “I wasn’t sure if you were as attached to the red and gold colour scheme as Tony,”  while thrusting the box towards her.

She has a moment of confusion, and Clint panics—just a little—that maybe he got the date wrong.

“Clint, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

Tasha had suggested that switchblade concealed as a lipstick. It probably would have been a better present. Except in that whole giving his boyfriend’s best friend a weapon sort of thing.

“You’ve already gotten Tony to tell me _Happy Birthday_ on my birthday.”

“It was only a text.”

Clint has a sinking feeling that this will just be another of his failures. Maybe he shouldn’t have bought her shoes. It’s never taken so agonizingly long for someone to open a present in front of him before.

As Pepper finally opens the box she exclaims, “Oh! Oh my, are these--?” She pauses and looks at Clint for a moment. “Did you get de la Renta shoes for me? You even got me the right season! Even Tony never manages that.”

Clint feels that rush of adrenaline he’s always associated to a completed mission—the success of _finally_ getting it right. But better because he’s finally gotten a normal thing right.

“Are you sure you’re dating Tony and not me? You can’t give a girl one impossible thing before breakfast and a pair of designer shoes before dinner without--   Oh.”

She takes time to close the box and set it aside. “Tony is a big boy. You don’t need my permission to date him. I’m just a secr—friend. “

“You’re his family. It seemed like the right thing to do.”

They sit in silence for a long moment.

“It’s just, you’ve set the bar high for yourself. Are you sure you’ll be able to get me as nice a present next year?”

*****************

 

 

Oscar de la Renta Fall 2012

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> None of these birthdays are even close to accurate.


End file.
